Rachel is a personal trainer.
(Did I really just write that??)
I never imagined a day would come when I would seek out a personal trainer, but the sad truth is... I am long overdue.
As I drove home tonight, I couldn't shake a thought... I must be honest with myself before any real change can be made. (This is true for each and every one of us.)
So what is the truth??
The truth is that I was once a very determined and deeply driven young lady who fought to stand on her own two feet in this life. I worked hard, whether at my job or in the gym. I lifted weights, trained in the martial arts and on the shooting range. I learned self-defense (and later even helped a bit to train others). In fact, one of my most cherished memories was helping to train soldiers in close-quarters combat. I loved to dance (still do, but don't get an opportunity much these days) and I love, love, LOVE to be outside! Hiking... Climbing a rock... ;) You name it.
The truth is that I had a car accident in 2003. At the time, I was commuting an hour (round trip) to the martial arts studio/gym for classes and to work out. On that snowy, fateful morning, I made one of THE DUMBEST DECISIONS OF MY LIFE... I quit. :(
I told myself that maybe it didn't make sense to commute that far... Ugh! (Enough excuses!)
Between that bad decision and my new, full-time desk job, I was in trouble. I just didn't know it yet.
I do now.
This winter will be 12 years since that accident. Even while I have changed my diet (for the good, mind you) immensely over the years and tried to keep active in so many ways, I have stubbornly held on to some of the bad.
In the past 5 years, life has been turned upside down more than once. Surgery to help heal PCOS, causing a tragic cascade into a series of additional medical procedures and surgeries that would span the years from '10 to '13... An immune system crash after the last of those surgeries that would follow me right into a diagnosis of skin cancer and the surgeries to remove it and repair the damage in '14... Thank You, Lord, for sparing my eye!
Then, just as old wounds were beginning to heal, the diagnosis of another cast a long shadow that still lingers...
Even while Doc believes it to be benign (as do I), it turns out that what I thought was a 17-yr-old injury from my days as a cop is actually a "parotid mass." Yep... A tumor. After a FNAB showed no signs of malignancy (Thank You, Lord!), I've held off having it removed until now. At this point, I don't want to give it a chance to "change." Unless something changes (negatively, that is), my surgery will take place in March of '16.
Mix all of this with other stressors - including my frustration with mainstream medical and my own tendency toward "laziness" in health matters these days - and you have a recipe for disaster.
I don't want to go there.
The truth is that I am still a very determined and deeply driven (albeit a bit older) young lady and something has to change!
My appointment with Rachel this evening was the beginning of that change...
Praised be Jesus Christ!!